Friday, August 10, 2012

My Boyfriend is making me Fat!

My boyfriend, J, is a fat ass! Not literally...he's actually quite slender. Figuratively. He will eat or drink almost anything in his sight; day old soda that is flat, the leftover broth from my chicken noodle soup, an entire pack of fruit snacks a day, etc. His obsessive eating didn't really bother me until he started eating up all of my food. When we shop for groceries we buy mutual foods (things for meals), he'll pick out lots of snacks, and I'll pick out one snack. That snack, my snack, is sacred. I'll eat a few of my cookies the first day, and come back the second day to an empty container! Or even worse, find one cookie left....half eaten.

You shouldn't mess with a woman on a diet's snacks! You need to indulge every now and then when you're dieting. If you don't, you might give up and binge eat like you'll never see pizza again! Unfortunately, binging has been the result of my boyfriend's food stealing. I'll buy a snack on my day off when he is at work and compulsively eat it before he gets home. All of it. If I leave anything, he'll just finish it off and I'd never get to enjoy it again! Oh God, I sound so fat right now.

So yes, my boyfriend is making me fat haha. Not only that, he is also trying to kill me. I bought women's low calorie protein bars to use as a meal replacement for breakfast. I went to grab one and noticed there was already one on the counter, half eaten, still in the wrapper. Knowing that if he didn't finish it he probably didn't like it, I grabbed it and decided to finish it myself. As I'm eating it, I feel an ant crawl on my wrist. I flick it off. Then I feel another. And another. I take the wrapper off the protein bar and notice ants crawling all over the protein bar. I almost puked lol.

So moral of the story is....don't let your boyfriend eat your sacred snack foods. Or you will get fat and die from ant poisoning. Don't get fat and die from ant poisoning.

4 comments:

  1. hhaha....is ant poisoning actually possible? Have you asked J to stop eating them or mentioned it ? lol

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  2. I've mentioned it, but only jokingly. It doesn't really bother me that much. I just need to find some snacks that he doesn't like! lol

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  3. It actually sounds like he is trying to help you. Eating your snacks for you, thus saving the calories! :)

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  4. Hey Lauren! Congrats on starting this new blog :) Love the layout and design and everything, and can't wait to see more from you! I'm your 4th GFC follower YAY! :)
    Rory
    www.WearAboutsBlog.com
    Enter to win an item of your choice from Ginny's Jewels!

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